Thursday evening I went to bed with a laundry list of
things that I wanted to accomplish the following day, though Friday had other
plans. I woke up that morning with a stabbing pain in my gut. In true form I
stubbornly attempted to go about my day as planned, all the while cursing the pain
and its intrusion on my scheduled activities. Doesn’t it know that I have
things to do? I don’t have time for this! How rude!
As you can guess, the more I fought it the more it won,
until I had to admit defeat and crawl back into bed. I laid there weakly
arguing with it a little more before finally letting go and giving into the
fact that, no, I wasn’t going to get any of the things done that I mapped out
for the day. I took a breath, and then relaxed…
It’s truly amazing what happens when you stop fighting
something. The miraculous occurs. It creates space for peace and for a gentler
kind of change. I’m very happy to say that within about an hour my stomach started
calming down. It was still a little
tender for a while, but who isn’t after they’ve been battled with? This leads me to this week’s message, which
is about the difference between fighting for change and supporting change. It really is all about perspective and knowing
what to let go of. Picking your battles, so to speak, and using the weapons of
compassion and focus instead of anger and frustration. My stomach and I are
both loving this idea.
With Love.
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From Over There:
“To fight is to
confront in anger. This is not the same as self-preserving tactics which are
necessary for survival. To protect oneself and others through action while releasing
the need to do it through anger or resentment allows potential for a more
peaceful outcome. It is through recognizing the underlying reason for pursuing the
action that one realizes if the action is based in anger or in a true desire
for positive outcome. Through an altruistic perspective one can move toward
creating change with a lessened possibility of offending others and creating resistance.
It is with this intention as the motivating force behind action where resolution
can be found.”
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Featured Guest: Marshall Rosenberg
Most of us have been educated from birth to compete,
judge, demand and diagnose — to think and communicate in terms of what is
“right“ and “wrong“ with people. We express our feelings in terms of what
another person has “done to us.” We struggle to understand what we want or need
in the moment, and how to effectively ask for what we want without using
unhealthy demands, threats or coercion.
At best, thinking and communicating this way can create
misunderstanding and frustration, or simply keep us from getting what we want.
It can also keep us from the fulfilling relationships we deserve. And still
worse, it can lead to anger, depression and even emotional or physical
violence.
Since developing the Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
process in the 1960’s, Marshall Rosenberg’s vision
has been to teach people of any age, gender, ethnicity or background a much
more effective alternative. At present, hundreds of certified NVC trainers and
supporters are teaching NVC skills to people from all walks of life around the
globe. To learn more, please visit nonviolentcommunication.com.
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If you'd like more information, to book an appointment, or check
out the current class schedule, please visit molliejensen.com.
