I Reject That

This week’s post is not about one of my cats. I figured that yet another cat related post and I’m swiftly heading toward crazy cat lady status, and I’m not quite ready for that badge of honor yet. Give me a couple of years or so on that one.  So when I sat down to write this I had something somewhat in mind, but as often occurs “they” had something else to say.

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner I find it interesting (or maybe more appropriately, timely) that this week’s message is about rejection. I mean come on, nobody likes rejection or feeling rejected. For that matter, I doubt most people like doing the rejecting either. It just feels icky, and if you let it, can give your confidence a rattling. So in this world of mixed up people trying to awkwardly connect, how do we avoid it? I’m not sure that it’s entirely possible to do, but I do think that we can take the sting down a notch or two.

Rejection comes in all forms – work, dating, social groups, you name it – and it all hurts. For this newsletter, and in honor of the rapidly approaching Hallmark card holiday, we’ll look at it from the perspective of forging new social interactions. The trick is in how you approach them. Do you have a plan mapped out within 30 seconds of what you want to happen, or do you just go with the flow when meeting someone new? We’ve all had those moments when we’ve been instantly smitten, as in “Man that guy/girl is cuuuuuuute!”, but that usually has absolutely nothing to do with them as a person. And we haven’t even begun to know what odd idiosyncrasies (we all have them to varying degrees) lay beneath that gorgeous exterior. Not to mention prospective new friendships. Do you size people up instantly, or let them reveal themselves in their own time?

Such delicate creatures we can be. If we take the time to understand the myriad ways we all approach new interactions, maybe, just maybe we can be more forgiving and open to connecting, and not so quick to judge those that don’t answer back.

Happy Valentine’s Day to y’all whether your Valentine be a spouse, partner, child, or yes, a cat.

With Love.

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From Over There:

“Feelings of rejection come when there is attachment to a particular outcome. If one remains unattached, one will be more flexible when life presents a different result than what was expected or desired. To stay unattached is to first ask yourself why you desire attention from a certain individual. What are the motives behind the desire? If the desire is to fill a sense of emptiness within, then this individual will be viewed from a false perspective. This approach ultimately has potential for both parties to become dissatisfied.  If one finds the desired individual genuinely interesting and like-minded then the potential relationship is approached from a much improved vantage point. From this more empowered place of attraction one increases opportunities to connect with individuals of the same mindset, and will have less attachment to whether the focus of desire reciprocates the intended connection. It is through this simple intent to create connection – without a preconceived desired outcome – that opens for more truthful and long-lasting relationships.”

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Featured Guest: Rainier Maria Rilke

This week, one of my favorite quotes by Rainier Maria Rilke:

“I’m so glad you are here…it helps me realize how beautiful my world is.”

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