When pondering this week’s message I completely agree that
to feel fully free to speak the truth you must first be (at least somewhat) unattached
to the fallout of what you disclose. This can be difficult when telling someone
something that you know may hurt them, but I’ve found that taking full
responsibility for your words is vital to moving through and on to resolution. Accepting
responsibility also lessens any potential defensiveness from the delivery and
feels more authentic to the one on the receiving end.
On the other hand, I believe that parts of the message
this week don’t necessarily apply to certain work related situations. Why yes, while
I think it’s ALWAYS important to hold yourself accountable for what is being
said, I’m not quite sure being in an unattached state of mind is as helpful.
For instance, the practice of sales is solely based on focusing intention on a
particular reaction from the recipient of the information. Sales wouldn’t be
sales without it. And what about lawyers? This line of work is all about how
well an argument is delivered. Definitely a form of manipulation and you couldn’t
be a successful lawyer without it.
My point in all of this is to know when to turn it on and
turn it off in regard to personal vs. work-related communications. No one wants
to feel as if they’re constantly being sold on an idea or situation. I know for
me that when I’ve had people in my life that are constantly “on” (ie, in
selling mode) it’s hard to decipher whether they’re being truthful or not. It feels
as if there is a constant undercurrent of manipulation taking place. Though I’m
certainly not condoning dishonesty in any form, I do know that sometimes it’s necessary
to use a little sales tactics or present a good argument at work to move ahead
and get things done – it just isn’t the
best form of communication in building strong, honest personal relationships.
With Love.
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From Over There:
“When speaking the
truth it is important do so without expectation to reaction. When one speaks
truthfully with an attachment to the desired outcome, one runs the risk of
censorship of oneself, sabotaging the act of full disclosure. The consequences
of disclosing the truth may be assuaged in the delivery of information. To deliver
through the heart with sincerity and an acceptance of responsibility for the
information opens the possibility of honest dialog between parties. To deliver
with an agenda creates the possibility of attempted manipulation by the bearer of
information. In the presence of manipulation there can be no real truth.”
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Featured Guest:
Seth Godin
Seth Godin has written fourteen books that have
been translated into more than thirty languages. He writes about the
post-industrial revolution, the way ideas spread, marketing, quitting,
leadership and most of all, changing everything.
American Way Magazine calls him, "America's Greatest
Marketer," and his blog is perhaps the most popular in the world written
by a single individual. His latest book, We Are All Weird,
calls for end of mass and for the beginning of offering people more choices,
more interests and giving them more authority to operate in ways that reflect
their own unique values. To learn more, please visit sethgodin.com.
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