What Others Think of You is None of Your Business

Remember those middle schools days when everyone was so awkward and concerned about what the other kids thought of them? And remember that because of this a lot of kids were really mean? By being cruel to the other kids they instilled fear and it gave them the power - however misplaced - to manipulate the behaviors of those around them and make themselves feel superior. For a short period of time anyway. It took me years to realize how these kids acted this way because of their own insecurities and fear.

As we grow up and move through life we (hopefully) move past this stage of emotional develop and learn how to cooperate with each other in a much more productive and enjoyable way. Unfortunately there are a few now and again who haven't seemed to quite get this lesson. You know them, hyper-sensitive (and I'm not talking in an intuitive way) and easily offended and defensive when things don't go their way. They lash out childishly and often leave you feeling vulnerable, overwhelmed or like you've been "slimed" by their energy outburst.

The message below talks about how this hyper self-focused state keeps you stuck and unable to forge genuine relationships. And let's face it, we all carry a little "middle school" around in us now and then, it's just being consciously aware of what it is and how it skews your view that will help move through it with adult wisdom.

With Love.

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From Over There: 2.22.15 Weekly Focus

When one is consumed with the thoughts and opinions of others it creates in them a disconnect from their true self and their higher connection to Universal life force. This acute self-focus is ego driven and keeps the individual in a stunted emotional state. From this emotional state one's interactions with others come from manipulative behavior. It is with this manipulation that the ego attempts to receive what it wants from others without true concern for their needs, even when presented in a benevolent manor. This leaves the individual lacking in authentic relationship interactions, and in a state of perpetual fear of how they are perceived by others.

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Q: Can you explain how releasing intense focus on ourselves helps us?

A: When one shifts from a state of acute self-focus and recognizes that they are truly connected to all and of the Universal life force, then they begin to understand the impact of their actions and move from manipulative behaviors to more compassionate interactions. They release the attachment to the opinions that others may have of them, and therefore, do not make assumptions regarding the opinions from a perspective of fear. This leads to greater overall happiness and deeper personal relationships for the individual.

Why Settle?

I love a good bargain. There’s nothing like getting something for a great price – if it’s a thing you want in the first place, anyway. I’ll be honest with you, I’ve had some lean years and trying to raise a kid as a single parent can be quite a challenge. The reason I tell you this is because it set up in me a pattern of ultra bargain shopping to make ends meet which oftentimes meant that I’d forego what I really wanted for something less expensive. This also meant that I usually ended up feeling like what I truly wanted was always out of reach.

And how this all ties into this week’s message has to do with settling for something that feels less than rewarding and how that can create a block to getting what you really want. Thankfully I’ve been able to get out of habit of constantly denying myself a few things – even paying full price (gasp!) now and then.  And although I still love a good bargain, I don’t let an inexpensive price be the deciding factor of whether I allow myself to have something or not. This also relates to settling at work and in relationships. No more dead-end jobs, unhappy or abusive relationships, or cubic zirconia if you want diamonds…margarine if you want butter…you get the idea.

With Love

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From Over There: 2.15.15 Weekly Focus

Q: How does settling for less than what we really want impact our getting what we really want?

A: To settle for that which is less desirable than what is originally desired sends a message to Universal life force that you do not view your desires as important. Whether it be a material item or the desired actions of another, to encourage one’s own happiness and wellbeing it is important to set an intention for the outcome of the desire, even if it is not available in the time in which one wishes it.

If one settles for a lesser desired item, a less respectful behavior from another, or for anything that does not in some way meet the requirements of the desire, it leaves one feeling unfulfilled. This sets in motion the unconscious belief that you cannot truly have want you desire. To have patience and openness to when and how a desire manifests leads to fulfillment in one’s life and the potential for greater material wealth and happier relationships.

In the Mood

Have you ever had one of those days when you woke up in a cranky mood and the day seemed to continue on in a downward spiral? And on the flipside you started the day out in a great frame of mind and then everything just kept getting better and better? Of course your mood doesn’t always insure the kind of day you’ll have, but it can certainly have an effect. 

This week’s message is about how our energy can influence our environment. It’s about how we act as a transmitter of sorts, attracting to us what our beliefs and emotions put out, sometimes regardless of what we desire. And although waking up in a great mood doesn’t guarantee that you’ll win the lottery, it will make the day a bit sweeter.

With Love.

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From Over There: 2.8.15 Weekly Focus

Q: A friend was telling me that they heard or read that in order for something to happen you have to vibrate at that specific energy level. Can you speak more on that and tell us how to do that?

A: It is simple, it is to understand that your current emotional output sends out a signal that pulls like energies to it. You may desire something, but if your emotional output is one of fear, anger or resentment then you will block its manifestation. This occurs as your signal does not reflect the desire. Do you desire a healthy, loving relationship, yet when you think about this desire your emotional output is one of despair, disbelief or disappointment? Then you will attract situations that confirm the emotional output. It is not denying your feelings, but rather, to become aware that these feelings arise out of past experience and have nothing to do with current circumstance. It is in this knowing that you may acknowledge this past suffering and shift consciousness. It is acknowledging the loving relationships that are present in your life at the moment. It is in this understanding that you recognize an openness to love. Do you desire greater financial security, yet are in fear of never having enough? Then true financial security will escape you, as no matter your monetary situation you will never feel comfortable or satisfied. It is to recognized that your needs have been met and find joy in its simplicity.

Excuse Me, What Did You Say?

This week, once again, hosts a question presented to me by a reader. And the answer comes from a couple of excerpts of my book, Channeling the Divine. It covers the various ways we connect to Spirit and how this is a unique experience for each of us. It also talks about how our “alternate” senses, like our physical senses, can have one or two that dominate, and this may have an effect on how we receive messages. To help you find out which of your alternate senses is strongest, check out my free guided visualization called “The Lemon Exercise”.

Have a wonderful, spirit-filled week!

With Love.

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From Over There: 2.1.15 Weekly Focus

Q: Is there a universal way that our guides or higher selves communicate with us? How do we know when they’re communicating with us vs. us making stuff up in our heads?

[Excerpts from Channeling the Divine]

I Can Be Reached At…

While opening yourself up to channel it’s important to be aware of the potential ways the information may come through to you. Everyone has some level of intuitive development – it’s part of our natural way of being – though the ability to connect with Spirit is a skill that you can definitely hone. Even so, the one thing that I’ve encountered repeatedly when guiding students in my channeling classes is their lack of faith in their abilities. Time and time again I hear how they don’t think they’re connecting because they can’t “see” anything. My response to that is, just like your physical senses, your intuitive or “alternate” senses are unique. Meaning, just as you may have higher auditory perception, or clearer vision, or a better sense of smell, or stronger sense of taste than someone else, your connection to Spirit will likely come through in a variety of different ways as well. Keep in mind that it doesn’t always come through “sight”, also known as “clairvoyance”, and it is important for you to know where your strength lies in regard to your alternate senses. Knowing this will help you better understand and recognize the messages when they come through. You’ll have the opportunity to uncover your strongest alternate senses in an upcoming exercise.

Another way my students have questioned their connection is that oftentimes there is an expectation that the experience is going to blast through in a profound way. While yes, you just might hear a chorus of Angels singing, or see bright lights streaming down from above, it’s rarely that grand an entrance. What you really want to strive for is strengthening the everyday connection that doesn’t disrupt your daily life. The more subtle the flow of information the easier it is to use throughout the day, and sometimes the messages you receive will be useful right at the moment you need them. Just know that with continued practice receiving messages in this way will begin to flow more naturally over time.

It’s important to not get too attached to Spirit’s method of delivering a message or you may miss something. Take special notice of repeated phrases that you randomly hear through songs or conversations. At the time it may feel like coincidence, but there’s a pretty good chance it’s something you might want to pay attention to.  I remember one time turning on the television and receiving all sorts of profound and useful information from watching a – I have to admit – pretty dumb sitcom. I can’t remember the name of the show, all I know is that it’s something that I normally would never have watched. Now I’m not suggesting that you purposely watch bad TV in hopes of receiving life-altering insight, I’m just giving you an example of some of the off-the-wall ways information can present itself. The Universe can, indeed, have an interesting sense of humor, so be open to information from unusual sources now and then.

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It’s All in Your Head…

Many times when you first start to notice that you’re receiving information you may feel as if you’re “making it up”. That you’re just imagining things. When you pull in messages through visual images they very often feel like they’re just flights of fancy or daydreams. This is especially true when the images that arise seem a little off-the-wall if you were to take them literally. It’s important to pay attention, even if what you’re “seeing” doesn’t immediately make sense. I constantly receive images that are purely symbolic, and I need to “decode” them in order to find their meaning. If something comes through that doesn’t make sense or is difficult to decipher, simply ask for clarification so you can better understand it.

This is also true when receiving information via thought process. It often feels like your own random thoughts flying around your head, but the difference will be in the message itself. When receiving messages from benevolent energies there will be less emotional charge than if they’re coming from your ego. You will never be left feeling assaulted or demeaned in any way. If it does come through in a way that doesn’t feel supportive, then it just may be a sign that it’s your ego is popping in. Take a step back from it when this occurs and see where it’s coming from. If it feels like your ego, inquire a little more on what it would like you to know or see. Oftentimes messages from the ego are colored by past experience, so see if the information is truly useful, or just the ego acting out of fear.  

Another thing to keep in mind when first starting out is that you may find yourself straining to force the appearance of a message. It can be frustrating when you feel the need for a quick answer and nothing presents itself immediately, but when you try to force information it moves you out of receiving mode and into effort. While in this state of effort it blocks the flow of allowing, making it more difficult to receive. I know that it might seem a little backward at first. How can you stop the receiving of something that you put effort into getting? What it boils down to is that when you go into effort your ego takes over, demanding the information to come through. When you’re working from a place of ego, you’re working with lower or denser vibrations and this doesn’t match the higher frequencies of Spirit. A calmer state of mind is needed to allow the messages to come. This being said, the more you practice this form of communication, the more easily you can access it.

I know that I’ve had instances where my state of mind was less than calm when searching for an answer. When this occurs take a deep breath, calm your nerves a little, and then ask again. No matter how connected any of us are, our human nature has a tendency to surface. The important thing is to stay aware of it. Another reason you might not get the answers you’re seeking is that you might not be ready to receive them. This happens when we’re overly attached to our perception of a situation or individual, or what we think our desired outcome should look like. Stay open to having your mind changed and it will make it easier for the flow of information to keep coming through. In any event, when information comes from Spirit, know that it is for your highest and best good.

Just Lettin’ It All Go…

Once again, this week’s message comes from a question I was asked by a colleague. It concerns the topic of letting go and why it’s sometimes so hard for us to do just that. Have you ever had an issue with letting go of a situation, relationship or job that you knew no longer served you? Yep, we all have. Sometimes we get so attached that the act of letting go practically feels like death. But just like the Phoenix rising, there can be renewal at the end of a pile of ashes.

At the base of our inability to let go is – you guessed it – fear. This fear comes from making a wrong a decision or missing an opportunity. But the truth is that like it or not things are continually changing all around us anyway. We just latch on to the idea that we can hold on to something or someone. Even if a job or relationship or other situation lasts over the span of years, all you have to do is think back and you’ll see that it’s not the same as it was in the beginning. The only thing we hold on to is the fear of our failure. And we all know how great that serves us.

As this week’s message tells us, if we stay present with ourselves and those around us then there really isn’t such a thing as a bad decision. Sometimes when we look back on a deviation from a path we can see the useful lessons that bring us to something even better than what we originally had planned. And at the very least we’re hopefully a bit wiser.

So just pay attention to what’s going on around you and go forth – onward and upward!

With Love.

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From Over There: 1.25.15 Weekly Focus

Q: Why do we sometimes have a fear of letting go?

Is it a lack of trust in oneself. It is to mistrust one’s ability to know the best course of action for the self. Understand that if one commits to conscious awareness then the course of action will never be futile, as through this awareness lessons will be learned. In remaining consciously aware there is no need to fear a change of action or mindset. In a state of awareness this can only lead to growth, whatever the outcome.

Q: How can we keep ourselves in a state of conscious awareness?

It is through the act of staying present. It is to notice what is happening in the moment. It is to avoid distracting and numbing mind through denial. This is to pay attention to your words and actions and of those around you. It is to take responsibility for the impact your words, actions and thoughts have on you and those around you. In doing so you gain greater perspective of the words and actions of others and do not take them personally, understanding that they respond out of their own beliefs and fears. This is practicing the act of presence, and it leads to greater growth for the individual who chooses this practice.

Money, Energy & Martin Luther King, Jr.

This week’s message comes from questions I was asked by a colleague. I invite questions from my readers that can be useful to those who read this blog. The subject this week is at the top of just about everyone’s list and something that seems to be coming up a lot in conversations I’ve had as of late: money.

This being Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I wondered how money might relate to honoring his legacy and for those who continue to bring a voice to the disenfranchised. Well, since there are still those in power who use poverty as means of control over certain sections of society, and on the flipside having money gives us greater opportunity to do good in the world, I guess the messages below tie in quite nicely. It’s all about empowering ourselves and using that power to uplift those around us. If use altruistically it can help unite us as a global community and build a more positive future for the world. I’d say that’s a good thing.

Happy Birthday, Reverend King.

With Love.

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From Over There: 1.18.15 Weekly Focus

 Why are so many of us concerned about our financial well-being? Why does it seem to be an issue for just about everyone?

It is cultural. In your particular culture there is a mindset of the need to have more. Even if you are one who chooses to live outside of convention, there is still a cultural energy that surrounds you. This leaves one in a state of eternal lack, as if there can never be enough – no matter how much money one has, there is a fear of not enough.

Many hold onto the idea that money is outside of them and unattainable. Money is simply a form of energy exchange, and it is necessary to align with the divine perspective of money in order to break free of the binds of cultural mindset.

Can you speak on how to become aligned with the divine perspective of money? Why does it seem that some of us have a clear connection to it and others don’t?

It is not in whether one has a clear connection to this energy, rather it is the underlying beliefs one holds that builds their relationship with it. Money is simply energy activated by intent. What does it represent to you?  Does it represent achievement, love or happiness? Is it viewed as a mechanism of survival?  Do you give it authority over you, or allow those with large amounts of it to control you? Does the amount you receive make you feel inferior or superior to others? Give you a sense of entitlement? Or a sense of shame? Does it represent betrayal, abandonment, anger or resentment? When you think of money, what feelings arise? Being mindful of these thoughts, feelings and beliefs will help you understand the core of your relationship to this energy. It is through a dedication to stay conscious as these thoughts and feelings arise that will uncover beliefs that you may not have as part of your conscious awareness. It is in exposing these beliefs that one may rise above and begin to build a more positive and powerful relationship with money.

For money to be a positive influence in one’s life, it must be met with benevolent intent. It must be a source for creating a more empowered life and as a mechanism of support for oneself and others. When it is used as a way of controlling another or allowing oneself to be controlled by another, the relationship with money falls out of divine alignment. When one’s sense of self is controlled by how much money they have or do not have, then they have fallen out of divine alignment in their relationship with money. It is in perceiving money as an energy just like other types of energetic forces. All energetic forces are fueled by intention. The more empowered your thoughts around money, the more good it will bring to your life.    

Stand Up

The terrorist attacks and murders in Paris this last week have once again left most of us feeling devastated and outraged. Following this was an inspiring show of solidarity as thousands – from a diverse spectrum of spiritual and religious beliefs, including many Muslim – took to the streets in support of those who were killed. It shows that we can rise above these acts, even in the face of fear.

This week’s post is an excerpt from my upcoming book and it covers the act of bullying. The violence that was perpetrated at the hands of the terrorists is an act of bullying at it most extreme. This excerpt is more directed toward instances where we might feel pushed around by someone who chooses to use intimidation tactics in their daily interactions instead of playing fair. It’s something we all encounter at some point in our lives, though we can make ourselves better equipped to protect ourselves with a little shift in consciousness. We may not be able to stop global acts of terrorism, but we can at least defend ourselves and others in our day-to-day lives from where we stand right now.

Sending love to the 12 killed, to their families and to everyone affected by the Charlie Hedbo tragedy. Je suis Charlie.

With Love.

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From Over There: 1.11.15 Weekly Focus (excerpt from Channel Surfing)

 “Q: Can you speak to us about the act of bullying and how can someone rise above the pain – especially when they’re young and vulnerable?

A: This type of behavior occurs when the perpetrator only understands anger as the way to empowerment and value. These individuals lack a conscious connection to their true source of power – their spirit-self. They are cut off in such a way that they do not recognize themselves as the divine being that they are. They have forgotten this. The one who is acted upon has also lost touch with their divine self and is seen as weaker than the perpetrator, so therefore an easy target of the anger. It is through each individual finding their own value – especially value in their uniqueness – that renders the perpetrator ineffective. Only through fear do individuals prey upon the well-being of another. In the presence of love no such act can stand. When one loves and values oneself, they understand their value from the perspective of love, and through this perspective find no joy in bringing harm to others. It is through the desire to accept and appreciate one's uniqueness that one begins to build the true source of strength and power - the spirit.

I feel it necessary to add a side note here. The answers to this question may seem over simplified, and to our dense energetic existence they are, though it’s important to remember that in the world of Spirit, anything is possible and easily attainable. The answers are guidance to help you understand that in appreciating and valuing ourselves, we lower the risk of being the victim of bullying or assault. Someone who exudes confidence does not make an easy target. Though this isn’t always the case and sometimes we’re simply at the wrong place at the wrong time, or we are caught in the crossfire of someone else’s dispute. A good point to remember is that regardless of the trials or tribulations that may come your way, a good dose of self-love just makes life so much sweeter and those trials and tribulations more easily surmountable.”