I'll Commit to That

This week I’m cheating a bit by reposting a message from about a year or so ago. The reason is that I’ve been immersed in rewrites for my book. I received some great feedback from a source I respect very much, and so dove in, full-throttle. The message below has to do with commitment, and since I’m completely committed to getting this book published, thought it fit quite nicely!

With Love.

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From Over There:

"Commitment is necessary to follow through to a desired outcome. It is important to be flexible within the framework of commitment, as there are times when the path to manifesting that which is desired is different than envisioned. Be open to changing commitments when necessary to move along the path that brings joy.

Many times, new experiences will alter the course of life. Changes in perception will - at times - broaden the view and reveal choices and desires that were once hidden from awareness. This is why flexibility is vital to growth and expansion. If one stays rigid and attached to the initial outcome - or avenues to the outcome - it has the potential to create fear of change that stifles forward movement.”

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Featured Guest: Will return next week!

Flex Your Flexibility

I find it pretty funny that this week’s message is about staying unattached to the course of an outcome. The reason for this is that I’ve sat down several times to write the opening portion of my post – something that usually flows very easily for me – though I keep finding myself in the middle of other tasks. Suddenly, I’m outside in the bright sunshine doing yard work. Oops, I had better get back to writing. I start to type and then…hey, how did I end up over here straightening up this bookcase??? After a few more similar situations such as these I realized that in allowing myself to do what I really wanted to do (putter around the house) I was actually heeding the advice that this week’s message was relaying.

So after much organizing and weeding, I’m back to writing this opening. Or actually writing about not writing it, for the most part. The great thing about allowing myself to deviate from my expected path today is that I accomplished a lot of stuff that I’ve wanted to do for a while, AND got this post done at the same time. It’s also a wonderful reminder that sometimes you need to change course a little to get back on track. It’s all about staying flexible.

With Love.

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From Over There:

“To remain on course with a desired outcome one needs to be unattached to the outcome and the method used to pursue the outcome. This fluidity is necessary to allow all opportunities to come forth, and to recognize an opportunity otherwise not yet envisioned. It is this ability to remain unattached and fluid that allows for the greatest change to occur. If one is resistant to change, then one cannot readily expect the change that they desire. The experience of resistance comes from the repetition of pursuing old patterns of behavior that are no longer useful. When one releases the need to control the outcome or the path to the outcome, then one releases the patterns that keep one in stasis. It is action met with non-attachment that creates the truest path toward achieving of a desired outcome, and allows doing so with a joyful heart.”

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Featured Guest: Thich Nhat Hanh 

This week I will leave you with a quote from Zen Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh: “Changing is not just changing the things outside of us. First of all we need the right view that transcends all notions including of being and non-being, creator and creature, mind and spirit. That kind of insight is crucial for transformation and healing.”

Just Smile

I recently read somewhere that wearing sunglasses has the ability to increase happiness. How so, you ask? Well, as the story expressed, when you don’t wear sunglasses in the bright sun it creates a squinty facial expression that’s similar to when you’re angry. This “angry face” then triggers a response in the brain that can cause a person to become irritable. Interesting. This made me think about how when I’m stressed and irritated I tend to hunch over, almost as if I’m closing down shop and preparing for battle. On the flipside, when I’m feeling happy I tend to hold my shoulders back a little more. A much more welcoming stance!

If you’ve ever paid attention to body language when talking to someone you know how the body can communicate quite a bit, even when no words are spoken. Being aware of this is great for understanding how to interact with others, but what about your interaction with you? As the message below says, how your body speaks to you is pretty important as well. So from this day forward I do solemnly swear to make my best effort to stop scrunching my face and hunching my shoulders whenever I get cranky. Maybe my crankiness will disappear…or at least not stick around for such an extended stay.

May your smiles be wide and often.

With Love.

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From Over There:

“The human body is an instrument that is capable of expressing or repressing emotion. When the body is in joy the muscles lift, tension releases and the body feels light. When the body is in sadness the muscles droop and the body feels heavy. When the body is in anger the muscles tense and the body feels tight and disconnected.

As the human body and mind are symbiotic in nature, the body’s actions have the ability to change patterns within the mind. Anger and sadness may be lessened if one engages in joyful posturing. Through purposeful breathing, through opening and expanding the chest, through lifting the facial muscles the body expresses to the mind feelings of joy. Through this symbiotic connection the body communicates to the mind and the mind reacts to the message through shifting to a more positive position.”

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Featured Guest: Nat King Cole

This week I’ll leave you with one of my favorite songs, written by Charlie Chaplin and performed by Nat King Cole, Smile.

Sparkle & Shine

I write this while sitting in a Laundromat. I come here every so often to wash my comforter since it’s too big to fit in my washer at home. The place is right down the street from my house, and every time I’m here I gain a greater respect for those who have to schlep piles of laundry here every week. Not to mention it reminds me to be very grateful for the rickety washer I have at home.

Tonight there is a family here with me. A young Hispanic couple with three kids ranging from what looks like between 3 months to around 12 years. The middle child is a boy who is most likely around 5. He’s chock full of energy, but not in that obnoxious wreaking-havoc-on-everything-around-him sort of way. Instead, he’s playing some sort of imaginary game, and although I don’t understand what he’s saying, I can only imagine that he’s conjuring up something grand. Whatever it is, it’s sweet to watch. He glances at me occasionally, and smiles back when I smile at him. He seems curious about me and like any kid, starts becoming a little more animated with whatever it is he’s pretending to be when he knows I’m watching. I send out a secret wish to him that he gets to pursue a path in life that gives him as much satisfaction as he’s getting right now.

That’s the thing about kids, there’s a time in life when the whole world is wide open for them. It’s before they start listening to a world that tells them that they can’t step outside the box that society has constructed for them. I remember my daughter telling me when she was very little that she wanted to be “the person who makes sidewalks”. I can’t recall exactly why she said that was so alluring to her at the time, but in retrospect it showed a desire to create and design something, which speaks of the artist she is today.

My point in all of this is that as adults it’s important to find that kernel of childhood spark – a belief that anything is possible – to uncover the bit still untarnished by society’s boxes. Without it we would be devoid of so many things. Can you imagine the flack that the Wright brothers got for even talking about their dream of building a “flying machine”? What if they had listened to the naysayers? They had to have a combination of confidence, vision and the childlike belief in possibility to pull that one off.

Whatever it is that makes you feel all sparkly, do it. If you feel that your spark has been snuffed out or is fading, then it’s time to start doing what you love again to rekindle it. Find something, no matter how small, to fan the flames. It doesn’t have to look like it did when you were a kid. I didn’t achieve my once-upon-a-childhood dream of becoming a secret spy, though I’ve been able to pursue work that requires observation, something I enjoy and I’m sure is a necessary skill for a productive secret spy. Do whatever it takes to start feeling inspired – take a walk, grab a sketchpad and doodle, read a book, sing a song, write a song – whatever feels good to you.

I believe in you, Sparky.

With Love.

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From Over There:

“Belief in one’s abilities circumvents the limitations perceived by others. The perception of limitation is the product of the mind, and represents the closing off of connection to the spirit’s wisdom.  The mind that remains open allows for creative flow and the spirit’s wisdom to be present. By remaining open one calls forth benevolent forces to support the unfolding of ability and the confidence needed to sustain belief in oneself. Belief in oneself is necessary regardless of the level of ability. Without it the ability becomes stagnant, never meeting full potential”

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Featured Guest: Venus Williams

This week’s guest is Venus Williams, professional tennis player (former world #1), entrepreneur, and role-model. Here's a quote from her that pretty much says it all: “Some people say I have attitude - maybe I do... but I think you have to. You have to believe in yourself when no one else does - that makes you a winner right there.” 

Laugh It Up

I want you to imagine a time when you were in the midst of uncontrollable laughter. We’ve all been there, something funny strikes and you just can’t seem to stop. Belly muscles start to ache a little, tears start to fall, but at that moment there’s not one thing that feels bad or wrong. And there’s nothing quite like it when it happens in a group, it’s infectious. One person starts to laugh and then before you know it everyone is joining in.  

On the flipside, have you ever been around someone who didn’t seem to have much of a sense of humor, or had a hard time seeing the light side of things? They feel heavy, don’t they? Not to mention a bit of a buzzkill, if I don’t mind saying. Now I know we all have times when we’re down, but what I’m talking about are those who just never seem to get the joke, and never seem to want to. It’s as if laughter and silliness is beneath them. I often wonder what it must be like to be in their skin, seems like it must feel pretty uncomfortable.

To horribly date myself, I remember reading my Grandmother’s issues of Reader’s Digest as a kid and would automatically go straight for the section I believe was called something like Laughter is the Best Medicine. Most of what was written was pretty cheesy, but what I loved were the stories that highlighted everyday life circumstances where a funny twist occurred. I liked how it showed how you can find humor in just about anything, and that doing so makes life a whole lot more fun. Let’s face it, life can be challenging. So why not make the best of it? I mean, no one is immune to painful experiences on this planet, so if laughter makes dealing with the inevitable easier then I say “Ha, Ha” and another big “Ha!”  

With Love.

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From Over There:

“Laughter is the soul’s way of reaching through the physical. Laughter, when done from a lighthearted perspective, is a high vibrational form of communication that has a profoundly positive effect on those who come in contact with its source. The sound of laughter reverberates at a frequency that raises the energetic fields all around. This is why it appears to be infectious. It is through this energetic shift that the true self is revealed. While is this state of joy there is no sorrow, no anger.

To view life from a lighthearted perspective allows one to find humor throughout day-to-day life. This way of being releases the heavy burden of emotional discomfort. One cannot be sad while one is in the state of laughter. This is not to use laughter as a form of avoidance of emotional discomfort, but to help one ease through the pain. It is to help one release the pain, and create the ability to remain less affected by the pain one experiences.

Much laughter equals much joy. Joy is the spirit’s expression of true self.”

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Featured Guest: Mark Twain

This week is a simple quote from master humorist, Mark Twain: “Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Yet Another Cat Picture...

This week’s post is related to something that I think most everyone who is on Facebook or surfs the internet can relate to. It has to do with cats, or rather cat pictures or videos. All you have to do is google the word “cats” or do a search on Facebook to pull up an amazing array of kitties doing what they do best, looking cute.

Yes, I am a cat parent and have, at any given time, had one or two of the little critters around the house for most of my life. I find them to be such goofy characters and so fun to watch. Other people must feel the same, because I’ve noticed that whenever posting a picture on Facebook of one of my cats doing something silly it gets multiple “likes”. The flipside of this is when I’ve posted a link to an article I find meaningful, (or this blog, for instance) that seems to get hardly noticed. And although I do (thankfully) know that plenty of people are reading my posts, I started wondering why things like cat pics are guaranteed to be popular, when other posts aren’t. I’ve also noticed that I don’t seem to be the only one experiencing this phenomenon.  

My pondering all of this leads to this week’s message and how to reconnect to that non-judgmental part of ourselves. It’s about how hanging out with our furry friends (this of course includes dogs, rabbits, pigs…whatever your pet’s species happens to be), small children, or anyone that doesn’t have the capacity judge or criticize can bring us back to a place of acceptance. Think about it, can you remember a time when watching a pet’s silly antics, or playing with a laughing baby that you felt judgmental? Kind of impossible, isn’t it?

So yes, please, keep enjoying my cat pictures, and I’ll keep enjoying yours…

With Love.

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From Over There:

“Connecting with a source of innocence reawakens a conscious connection to the soul. This is a state of non-judgment, of wonder, and of simplicity. Spending time with activities that instill a sense of playful innocence – such as interacting with small children or domesticated animals – opens one to a more lighthearted perspective. This lightheartedness perpetuates joy, leading to a generally happier life. This happiness keeps the mind, the body and the soul interconnected for increased conscious awareness, and creates greater understanding of the effect each one has on the whole.”

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Featured Guest: ASPCA

Founded in 1866, the ASPCA was the first humane organization in the Western Hemisphere. Our mission, as stated by founder Henry Bergh, is “to provide effective means for the prevention of cruelty to animals throughout the United States.” While there are SPCAs and humane societies all over the country, the ASPCA is not directly affiliated with them. However, the ASPCA works nationally to rescue animals from abuse, pass humane laws and share resources with many shelters across the country. To learn more, please visit aspca.org.

Not So Blurry

There’s been a flurry of commentary around Robin Thicke’s music video “Blurred Lines” that has many saying it perpetuates date rape and the objectifying of women. I hadn’t paid much attention to the guy until the controversy erupted – all I knew was that his dad was an actor in some 80s sitcom. I finally decided to check out his video on Youtube after reading an article with his response to all of the hoopla. In the article Thicke says, "For me it's about blurring the lines between men and women and how much we're the same.", alluding that somehow his song and video support the sexual liberation of women. Basically, to call out the contradiction that women often feel between a society’s demand that they be a “good girl” and their own need of fulfilling their sexual desires, that women have the right to be as sexual as men. But then he admits to degrading women in the video as a way of making light of it, "People say, 'Hey, do you think this is degrading to women?' I'm like, 'Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I've never gotten to do that before. I've always respected women.' So we just wanted to turn it over on its head and make people go, 'Women and their bodies are beautiful. Men are always gonna want to follow them around.'" Yikes! 

While I’m all for sexual equality and am not offended by nudity, after watching the video I wondered how this guy thought that it in any way was helping the female population. Throughout the video he parades topless women clad only in flesh-colored G-strings with vacant looks on their faces while he, fully dressed, and a couple other dudes, also fully dressed, sing and leer. To add to the insult he shows a woman provocatively playing with a large stuffed dog, another one holding a live lamb (what the???), and then another scene where he pretends to inject a huge hypodermic needle into a woman’s backside (Rohypnol®, anyone?). 

I could go on and on about how wrong (in my opinion) this video is, but that actually isn’t the point of this week’s message so I’ll get off the soapbox now. The point is all of the attention that this guy is getting and the fact that he’s so unaware of what it is that he says he’s trying to support. He’s either stupidly chauvinistic or simply a great marketer…or maybe both. Which finally leads me to this week’s message about finding balance between those things that deserve our attention (creating a more accepting and loving society), and those things that don’t (Robin Thicke and his video). And yes, I know that through this post I'm bringing him more attention, but I think some exposure (pun intended) of his lack of awareness might actually shift a few perspectives on how women deserve to be treated in the media. So let’s call out the misogyny that permeates our culture and have conversations about that so we can begin to create change, and not give Mr. Thicke anymore of our attention…maybe he’ll learn something…

With Love.

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From Over There:

“Focus primarily on that which uplifts society, while bringing awareness to that which degrades as it allows an opening for change to occur. By viewing the issues that degrade members of a society it uncovers behaviors that one may have exhibited without understanding the impact on another. Understanding the impact of a given behavior – those that uplift as well as those that degrade – allows for a shift in perception that creates greater awareness and acceptance. Through this awareness and acceptance one can forge a deeper connection with those actions and thought processes that uplift society. This, in turn, lessens the focus on the offending actions, thus removing power the offender has over the target of the offense. With less power come fewer followers and fewer to imitate the action. With increased focus on that which uplifts come a greater number of those who would follow and imitate the action.”

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Featured Guest: Aretha Franklin

This week’s featured guest is none other than beautiful vocal force, Aretha Franklin. This woman’s musical talent has spanned decades, and she’s gained and maintained respect while in an often male dominated industry without objectifying herself or selling herself short. In honor of this, here is a song of hers that is one of my personal favorites, “Think”.