I Have a Dream

This week’s post is dedicated in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and his dream of racial equality. Although we’ve come a long way, there’s still plenty more to go, and when I reflect on his dream I like to think that it has unfolded to include all races, genders and sexual orientations. To put it bluntly, I don’t look at his message as just a black and white issue, but as an overall human issue.

I recognize that being white has brought me a level of social privilege and that being straight has meant that I haven’t had to fight for the right to express my love in the way I see fit. And I also am acutely aware that – aside from being female – I haven’t really had to define myself by race or sexual orientation as a means to overcome social or judicial bias. Though one thing that has always bothered me are titles like “African-American” and “gay marriage”. Shouldn’t I then be defined as a Scandinavian-American who used to be in a straight marriage? Shouldn’t we all have to subscribe to the same structured definitions? Better yet, no definitions? I know, easy for me to say as I sit here living in the liberal-peace-love-and-understanding mecca of the US, but it’s just a thought. And you know what? I can dream too…

Sweet dreams to you all.

With Love.

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From Over There:

“To be exclusive of any segment of humanity based upon gender or ethnicity creates a fractured sense of wholeness within oneself. To be exclusive of those whose lifestyle conflicts with one’s sense of morality – when the behavior deemed offensive brings harm to no one – creates a state of separateness in viewpoint upon the world and a skewed sense of moral judgment. This creates a world view not solely based on love, but one of fear and need for retribution. This moves one further away from love and further away from a connection with the spirit. It is in recognition of the interconnectedness of all that one forges a deeper relationship to the spiritual aspect of oneself. It is through this connectedness that brings understanding and a harmonious existence for all.”

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Featured Guest: Dr. Marin Luther King, Jr.

Here is a link to Dr. King’s famous speech, “I Have a Dream”. I’d like to think that today this dream to move to a more just and inclusive society includes equality for everyone, regardless of skin color, sexual orientation, gender, or spiritual beliefs.

Act, Responsibily

This week I’m pulling from the archives and giving you a truncated version of a previous post. The reason for this is that in doing so it conveys more closely what I want to talk about, being responsible with your energy. What I mean by this is simply taking responsibility for your reaction to having a bad day, or bad extended period, whether from occasional mood swings, dealing with emotional trauma or something more physically related.

I bring this up, because for the past few weeks I’ve had the experience of witnessing a few people who were going through some sort of painful issue and the varying degrees of responsibility they took for how they processed it. On one hand was individual who was very in a bad way, but took full responsibility and acknowledged the effect their turmoil had on those around them. The end result was that everyone rallied support, and this individual took an active role in getting help. They took responsibility – even while in a vulnerable state – for their actions and now is on the path to wellness.

On the other hand, I’ve also witnessed someone who consistently choses to throw their energy around in the form of bad moods and overly dramatic displays of emotion without care of how it affected anyone. To top it off, they’re completely unwilling to see or take responsibility for any of it. It’s really unfair, and quite frankly, draining.

At the end of it all the most we can do is hold ourselves accountable for how we are in the world, be compassionate when someone is having a bad day, and keep interactions with toxic people at a minimum.  

With Love.

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From Over There:

"Worthiness of a desired outcome arises from action coupled with responsibility. When one takes action toward the creation of a desire and full responsibility for its implementation - whether seeking help or completing the full process individually - one moves into a state of worthiness. This includes action without harm, since the act of responsibility carries with it the consideration of others.

Entitlement is the feeling of deservingness without appropriate action or responsibility to outcome. It is in this state that the individual can never be satisfied. It is in this state that respect for others and their needs diminish. It is a state of demanding, not compromise.

  

Working toward a desired outcome with action and responsibility creates a sense accomplishment, self-respect and worthiness for the individual - and it is the way toward greater peace for the whole."

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Featured Guest: Marshall Rosenberg

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is based on the principles of nonviolence-- the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. NVC begins by assuming that we are all compassionate by nature and that violent strategies—whether verbal or physical—are learned behaviors taught and supported by the prevailing culture. NVC also assumes that we all share the same, basic human needs, and that each of our actions are a strategy to meet one or more of these needs. People who practice NVC have found greater authenticity in their communication, increased understanding, deepening connection and conflict resolution. To learn more visit cnvc.org.

Designer Labels

In my family I was known as “the baby” (aka youngest) growing up. At the time I wasn’t a big fan of the title, as to me it conveyed that my age somehow implied that I was inferior due to my lack of the experience or knowledge. Now that I have plenty of years behind me, I have absolutely no issue with this label and have to admit sometimes taking pleasure in reminding my older siblings of it. I think this is a good example of how we can interpret the meaning of a label we’re given and how we associate with that interpretation. It shows that it’s not so much the label itself, but the power that we allow it to have over us that affects us. I realize that the label “baby” may not be the most inflammatory, and that there are much harsher things that we as a human race label each other with. I won’t go into it too much as I’m sure you’re all very aware of the labels you’ve had to overcome in your own lives, though I know it took me a couple of decades to rid myself of the not-so-endearing names thrown at me in my youth.

The thing is, it seems every time we turn around there’s an opportunity for a label to be thrust upon us via the media, family, work relations, etc., etc., etc., and as a culture we have such a strong need to put a label on people and things so we can categorize them. How do we rise above it? As a culture we're most likely not going to stop labeling anytime soon so the best we can do is be conscious with how we use our labels – of ourselves and of others. Labeling can be used to uplift or degrade, or empower or imprison. It’s up to us as individuals first to decide the power we want to give to them, and what type of power that is. And if you have to label, why not give yourself and others a few to inspire and encourage?

My label for you all today is…”beautiful”…and it’s yours to do with however you’d like.

With Love.

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From Over There:

“The human need to label is unnecessary, though it is human nature to label and categorize in order to form identity. What one chooses to identify with creates a perspective and world view based on that identification. It is up to the individual how to use this perspective to interact with those around them.

When one releases the need to categorize oneself by identifying with a particular culture or label, one allows for perspective that is based on personal knowledge and spiritual wisdom, not on indoctrinated philosophy.  It is choice of the individual whether to adopt the cultural teachings around them, or to form their own independent perspective. It is those with the independent mind that are able to reside within a cultural group and retain the ability to dismiss the collective beliefs that feel misaligned with their spirit.

The self-identification with labels – whether self-made or created through cultural dynamic – may empower or disempower the individual. It is the evolved spirit that seeks cultural principles based on unifying humanity with kindness and personal responsibility.”

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Featured Guest: Guy P. Harrison

Guy P. Harrison is a writer dedicated to promoting science and reason. He is the author of five highly acclaimed books with critical thinking themes. This week I’m featuring an article he wrote, Four Simple Reasons Smart People Shouldn't Believe in Races, using anthropological references to describe how we really are just one race and that the concept that we are made up of different races is just a cultural creation. I found it very interesting and much food for thought. Could this just be a humongous form of labeling one another?

Anytime Now

As I sat down to write this post my goal was to receive a message that gave some insight to the upcoming New Year, but as spirit often does, they had another topic in mind. The subject is time, or our attachment to it. Life on this planet warrants that we manage our time – some more than others, some better than others – though what the message below refers to is how we can get caught up in allowing the calendar to govern our lives at the risk of sabotaging our creativity and ultimate happiness.  

This time of year is doubly symbolic for me in that my birthday also occurs in the mix. It’s definitely a time where I feel the pull of clearing out the old and creating something new. Though as time marches on I’ve also found myself putting pressure on things I feel I should’ve achieved by now. Not to mention that I’m a quintuple Capricorn which can be crazy making when it comes to work and goals I set for myself. All this aside, who’s to say what anyone needs to accomplish by a certain point in life? It’s the dreaded “shoulds” and “have to’s” that get in the way of things. It’s the stories our society tells us of what we’re “supposed” accomplish and have and have done by a certain time. Buying into this only boxes us in and keeps us from creating our own individual version of life. And you know what? Whatever that version, it’s just fine.

So Happy New Year, and Happy New Day, and Happy New Moment to You!

With Love.

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From Over There:

“Time is linear and the spirit does not view through a linear perspective. One does not need to wait for markings on a calendar to create a new beginning or to release old patterns. This use of the calendar is purely symbolic, as time as you know it does not exist in the realm of spirit.

As the actions of the spirit are only limited while housed in the physical body, so does the concept of time have the capacity to limit the free flow of creative accomplishment. Approach the concept time as a means to organize and invite that which you desire, not as a barrier to creation.

There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ time for moments to occur. They just occur. Allowing situations to unfold as they will – without attempting to force or hinder their appearance through the date on the calendar –allows divine for creation. As the human mind has a need for creating structure through time, use this ritual to your advantage. Do not let it hinder expression or your actions, only as markers along the way to accomplishment, and not as a form of self-judgment.”

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Featured Guest: Gandalf the Wizard

Yes, I’m a big Lord of the Rings geek and proud of it, so I’ll leave you with this short snippet from Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. 2013 was certainly a year of many challenges for many people and I think in this scene the ring signifies those challenges. It’s all about how you react and meet what comes your way and what you do with the time you have left on this dense sphere we call home. The wisdom of Gandalf.

Get to Celabrating

Since this time of year is a whirlwind of activity for most everyone I’m giving you all a re-post from a couple of years back. It’s a good reminder – one to remember all year – that celebration is really all about experiencing  joy and not about stressing out over the specifics of how things unfold.

I wish you a very joyous holiday season; however you celebrate, whatever you celebrate!

With Love.

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From Over There:

"To celebrate to is experience joy. If there is no joy, there is no true celebration. When one celebrates from only a sense of duty, it is not true celebration. True celebration comes from love, joy and excitement. It is felt with the heart. It is fluid, not rigid. There may be thought and execution of planning preceding, but the joy of celebration is always spontaneous. Allow it to unfold." 

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Featured Guest:

This week you get a quote from the beautiful soul who was once housed in the body of Mother Theresa: “Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand.” A good to remember – every season of every year.

Kind, Respectful Individual Seeks Same

I have to admit that I recently realized that I had a bit an obsession with running into a couple of people I hardly know, just so I could give them a piece of my mind for having had a part in hurting someone I care deeply for. To give you a little perspective, this incident happened several months ago, and although the individual at the receiving end of the pain has moved on, I’ve been holding onto a grudge the size of Jupiter. You can imagine that this hasn’t been a very pleasant thing to do, and from time to time has distracted me from focusing on the important things in my life – like staying present with those I love. Not to mention that the offending individuals have had no idea what’s been circulating through my mind and therefore have gone on with their lives, seemingly unaffected.

The reason I bring this up is that in sitting myself down and really looking at the situation I came to realize – aside for my anger at their hurting someone I love – that I wanted to hold them accountable for their actions. I wanted to hear them apologize. I wanted them to fully grasp the repercussions of their actions. And I wanted to know if they had learned from their mistake – or if they even viewed it as a mistake in the first place. Basically, I was projecting my own standards of decency upon them, and was very attached to them holding the same standards. It was then that I realized that – whether I feel someone’s actions are wrong or not – everyone has the right to choose how they interact in the world. That’s what free will is all about. And I knew for my own peace of mind it was time to let it go.

We all make mistakes and do things we later regret – we’re human, and like it or not, that’s often how we learn. But when you find yourself confronted with someone whose standards of compassion are completely out of synch with yours it can be unsettling, especially when they appear to lack any concern for the pain they’ve caused. Though at the end of it all the most we can do is hold ourselves accountable for our own actions, and be forgiving of those who make amends for their human errors. We owe it to ourselves and everyone else to be as kind, considerate and respectful as possible. And when someone pops up that can’t or won’t deliver, it just might be time to let them go – whether they’re physically present or just swirling around in your head. 

Here’s to focusing on those who really count…

With Love.

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From Over There:

“Pain is the result of moral standards that have been compromised that one sets for oneself. These standards are different for each individual and are subject to cultural background and familial identity. One is not born with these standards, one is taught these standards. Oftentimes these standards are created as a means for a society to keep its members acting within certain behavioral boundaries. When one knowingly engages in acts that are harmful to another – without fear of consequence – the individual acts through disconnect of their spiritual self. This leads to disharmony in relationships and slows the evolution of humanity, as the actions of each individual are valuable to the whole.

It is the individual who has no need for such standards as a means of behavioral control – yet chooses to interact with those around them with loving kindness that are the most enlightened. To act from the perspective of love for another as a way of life – not as a rigid condition – is the purest form of human connection.”

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Featured Guest: Thich Nhat Hanh

This week I’ll leave you with a quote from Zen Buddhist monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh:  “Listening to and understanding our inner sufferings will resolve most of the problems we encounter.”

Holistic Happiness

This week I want to talk about happiness, or rather, allowing happiness in all areas of life, not just some. I like to refer to this as “holistic happiness”. We all have different things that make us happy, though is there one area in your life in which you ignore your well-being? I know for me, I have a tendency to allow work to take over. I have to consciously make an effort to take care of myself and remember to eat, be social, and allow some down time. It took a while for me to realize that I was doing myself a grave disservice with my workaholic tendencies.

Distracting yourself to avoid feelings that may arise from focusing on a particular area of life is also another thing that can thwart happiness. I call this the pursuing of shiny objects. These are things that present themselves in nice, glossy packages, but lack what you need to be fulfilled. This can happen with work situations, home situations, and yes, people situations. For instance, pursuing work with an organization that may seem to fit in with everything you desire, yet the boss has control issues, is a shiny object that will most likely leave you feeling powerless and undervalued, and distract you from finding a better working situation. Or what about that attraction to an individual with a gorgeous outside wrapper, but nothing inside to offer? This type of shiny object distracts you from noticing those diamonds-in-the-rough that have loving, kind and present insides that are all around you.

So what areas of your life could use better tending to? What shiny objects are you willing to let go of so you can bravely pursue what you deserve? It’s up to you and only you to decide. How cool is that?

With Love.

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From Over There:

“When one chooses to focus only on happiness in one area of life and forsakes happiness in other areas, one is not being true to the whole self. Balance focus on all areas of one’s life – relationship, career, home, family – and allow flexibility in pursuing satisfaction in these areas. It is with flexibility that one may bring more attention to a chosen area when needed, yet not forget the importance of the whole self.”

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Featured Guest: Marci Shimoff, Happy for No Reason

In Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out, transformational expert Marci Shimoff offers a breakthrough approach to being happy, one that doesn't depend on achievements, goals, money, relationships, or anything else "out there." Most books on happiness tell you to find the things that make you happy and do more of them. Although there's nothing wrong with that, it won't bring you the kind of deep and lasting happiness most people long for -- the kind you'll never lose, no matter what happens in your life. Based on cutting-edge research and knowledge from the world's leading experts in the fields of positive psychology and neurophysiology, plus interviews with 100 truly happy people, this life-changing book provides a powerful, proven 7-step program that will enable you to be happier right now -- no matter where you start. To learn more visit happyfornoreason.com.